I wish I was an only child. Options

[DARK_SABER]

I know siblings fighting amongst themselves is as old as time itself, hell the first bothers, one of them killed the other (the good book only specifies the events that led up to the fateful slaying, but im sure it was a culmination of a life time of friction.)

So here’s the thing, I’m the older sibling, my sister, four years younger likes to push my buttons. The most recent one that she’s been allowed to get away with for some time now is that she likes to gloat over the fact that she has a job, and I do not. Long story short I have a learning disability that is the result of a flaw in how my brain processes audio visual information during intense observation. The end result is that after a mere 15 minutes of typical study I must take a 10 minute break or risk becoming physically sick and fainting, so as you can imagine I need to devote a large amount of time studying to achieve decent grades in college, so much so that I was forced about two years ago to give up my job (right before the economic situation got bad in our area too boot) to try and stabilize my grades.

So here I am, at home with a learning disability trying to better my education. I don’t have a job but to pull my weight around the house I do pretty much everything. I clean, mow the yard, cook about 3-4 dinners a week, keep the family computer network in order and so forth. Because gas is so high in the area (4.00 USD a gallon) I lend my car to my mother as it gets better gas millage, so basicly that means for the summer, I was stuck literally at home. During this time I studied figure drawing and looked for a summer job when I could while the family worked. Around august I gave up looking for a job, 2 months of searching gave me nothing and with school about to start again who was going to hire a college student for a month?

Anyway, lets talk about today the day started off rather bad, I woke up around 1 pm, not something I like doing but only got to sleep around 5 in the morning. I get up, check my pet bird out, make some food and notice it had rained while I was still sleeping, so the lawn couldn’t be mowed today thanks to heavy humidity in the air. Sister comes home around 4 in the evening and crashes on the couch until 7. During this time ive been straighting up the house, and so forth. Around 7:30 my mom comes home and after the brief pleasantries decides to tell me shes going to teach me how to take care of the laundry, as a rather large pile has been building up.

Now, I don’t know why, but something in my just snapped. See laundry is the single chore my sister is expected to do. Shes not expected to help clean, do dishes, take the trash out or anything else. Most of the problems with our home network can be traced to her actives and so forth, the only thing shes asked to do half the time is to do the laundry. With a washer and dryer is a simple job.

I tell my mom im not going to do that, that I do enough around the house and that my sister gets away with just about everything. Well my sister was walking by and decides to put her two cents in by saying that “well I have a JOB for the past two years! AND I’m going to college next week! Plus –I- have to EARN my money for MY car”. This is coming from the girl who just spent three hours sleeping in the den and is now going out to party with her friends. So naturally I snap and flick her off right in front of my mother.

Just then my father walks in from a day of work and, not knowing what the argument was about injects himself into the conversation and yells saying that I have to learn how to do the laundry and so forth, he then leaves to go change. My mother and I continue to argue, I ask why does she get preferential treatment? Sure she will be working 30 hours a week soon but during the time that I was working I was fully expected to clean the dishes, house and so forth when I came home from an eight hour shift from work yet when my sister comes home, she’s allowed to crash and “recharge” only to later that night go party until 1 in the morning. I tell my mother these things and she just walks out, the argument over (I still don’t know if I won that argument but I’m sure it wont be the end of it this weekend.)

So here I am, sitting at the computer, wondering if this is just another example of favoritism, despite my parents assuring me its not. I do 90% of the house work and don’t get paid, I have classes starting up next week with hopes that I can pull off a decent enough GPA to go to the art institute in downtown and I’m being told that I need to learn yet another house chore because my siblings schedule apparently is too satuarated with partying, sleeping in the middle of the day, work and now school. I can think of two things she can drop all together to help her find time. Maybe I should just say fuck it, drop class, get a job and move the fuck out of this hell hole so my sister can finally pull some god damn weight.

[TeknomanFan]

Well, you shouldn't have flick your sister. It doesn't resolve anything. It only makes the situation worser since it gives the impression that you're the agressor instead of the victim.
And yeah, from what you wrote, i'd say she can get away with pretty much anything.

This is probably your frustration talking but I wouldn't drop classes. Education is important, probably even more in the US, to get a good job. So the only thing i can tell you is to try to put up with it and get a degree.
The better your degree, the better paid your job is gonna be

[Watto]

The better your degree, the better paid your job is gonna be

Maybe, but a degree isn't a guarantee to a well-paying job. And a lot of those great jobs don't need further education to get into them. Whichever way you go, it's worth thinking long and hard about it, but I wouldn't get too hung up on getting a degree just because you 'need' one.

[TeknomanFan]

indeed, it isn't a guarantee, but your chances get bigger

[Watto]

Maybe, but you have to wonder if that extra chance is worth the four years of your life that you have to waste.

[TeknomanFan]

yeah it is worth it

[DARK_SABER]

I thought I would update this.

It would seem that slowly but surely my parents, in particular my dad, is waking up to the writing on the wall. In a recent arguement I overheard between my parents and sister it was said, by my father, that I am pulling most of the weight around the house in terms of maintaining things, such as cleaning and so forth. This comes at the heels of a few weekends in a roll where I was left home along for the most part while the rest of the family was out doing there various things and left me to clean house and so forth. The cause of the arguement was due to the state of my sisters room, which was an utter pig stye, which she had promised to clean on last monday, and the arguement took place last friday.

Her defense was the ussual school/work combo to which my father said she either needs to start helping around the house or insist that she managers give her less hours. Shortly afterwards I heard the vaccum going in her room at 11:30 pm.

Its a small victory, im supposively getting paid for my work now as well in the form of direct deposits (I need to check that as ive heard that statement before) so hopefully my parents are finally waking up to the blatant favortism that has been going on for years here and are trying to rectify the situation, better late then never I guess.

[Evil in the shad...]

A victory is a victory, no matter how small.

I know exactly the type of person you mean, I live with 2 of them. They've always got an excuse, or conveniantly forget that they've been asked to do something, then fuck off out and leave it to someone else. I think we've all done it at some point though. However, some people just take the piss, and the most annoying thing being, that ya seem to be the only one who can see em doing it.

[DARK_SABER]

A victory is a victory, no matter how small.

I know exactly the type of person you mean, I live with 2 of them. They've always got an excuse, or conveniantly forget that they've been asked to do something, then fuck off out and leave it to someone else. I think we've all done it at some point though. However, some people just take the piss, and the most annoying thing being, that ya seem to be the only one who can see em doing it.

Yeah I admit I used to do it when I was much younger and in high school but I grew out of it. Im hoping that its genetic or something and she too will grow out of it.

[TeknomanFan]

well, things are getting better for you DS , hopefully they will keep improving

[DARK_SABER]

I honestly think I’m at the end of my rope with this sibling. I spend two+ hours making dinner, Chicken, potatoes, corn, asparagus and fresh Italian herb bread (Yes, fresh bread, not a store bought tube of gala nous bleach paste.), both parents are both really impressed and thanking me, then my sister comes in and asks why I didn’t make a salad. The bitch wants a fucking salad after seeing the spread of food. I told her she shouldn’t have been lazy and laid in bed for as long as she did if she wanted one. Her response, “well, I have –two- jobs now and I still go to school full time.”

I tell her “yeah, I have three jobs (I’ve recently begun making dvd covers for two small time film producers as well as a logo for a corporate backed paint ball team)”. Her response “yeah when was the last time you worked on that.”

We get into a fight right there in the kitchen, my dad gets pissed and she storms off saying “this is why I’m never home anymore!”

The bitch basically just ruined family dinner because she wanted rabbit food.

[TeknomanFan]

1) if she doesn't want your food, i'm more than willing to eat it

2) doesn't she have plans to move out anytime soon?

[DARK_SABER]

1) if she doesn't want your food, i'm more than willing to eat it

2) doesn't she have plans to move out anytime soon?

Her plans are likely non existant and she uses the claim as a jab against me and the parents. To be honest I wish they would call her bluff as this really hurts my mom the most when she says these things.

As stupid as it sounds Im quite depressed over this whole thing. Maybe its because I let her get to me or because she managed to fuck up a family meal so easy, all I know is I just feel like shit.

[Evil in the shad...]

I'd have lamped her one serously, the cheek. It sounds very famillier, we get that kind of behaviour all of the time, along with a variety of excuses. The favourite one being that he's only 15, and therefore still a child. He was quite suprised when he was informed by me, that in a few days he'd be 16, as he kept reminding us, and then he'd be legally deemed as responsible enough to leave home (or be thrown out) so that excuse, was now void.

[DARK_SABER]

I’m considering giving her what she wants in a way. Though it may seem childish I am considering the idea of completely and totally ignoring her for about a month. She often says she wishes one of us would move out, since that’s not an option the next best thing would be to pretend she just isn’t living in the house. My reasoning for this is that our relationship is pretty much 1 level above prison inmate and when the day does come that one of us moves out it will likely be the last day both of us see each other unless accidently bumping into each other at the annual family reunion. As much as I really borderline loath her I would prefer things not get to that point so id like to show her what that life would be like as close as I can and maybe it might get her to change her attitude. Wishful thinking or should I go ahead and try it?

[Evil in the shad...]

I'd give it a go. From experience, our pain in the arse, hates being ignored. The only time I can see her objecting to it, is if you don't cook her anything, when you do for everyone else. It'd then be down to you to not bite, as she'll most definately try to gode you into doing so. Is it just you thinking of doing this, or your parents as well, either way, I think you need to have a word with them about what you're thinking of doing, so as to minimise the potential for friction between you.

[DARK_SABER]

I sent my dad an email explaining the idea and he responded in that he will talk to me about it. He didnt say no to the idea but if he does its not like he can enforce it. Id perfer that hed atleast understand why im doing it.

[Evil in the shad...]

Your right there, he can't exactly stop ya, wether he agrees or not. At least he knows what you're planning. Hopefully the silent treatment will have the desired effect, otherwise, I have no idea what you can do to try to sort it out. Will give it some thought though.

[Kane]

Yea man that is a good idea. I know what its like to have siblings but I am the youngest. And i never cook however my eldest is a spoiled brat and I get in trouble no matter what happens between the two of us even if she was the one in the wrong.